Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Vodka?
Forever.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
