i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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