I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I will pee on everything he values.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
