I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
