drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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