I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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