the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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