oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
