Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"

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  (860): I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober" http://tfl.nu/f99j
  Replies (19) Good night (1484) Bad night (3279)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent

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  (612): i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent http://tfl.nu/7y58
  Replies (13) Good night (5772) Bad night (817)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god

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  (740): you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god http://tfl.nu/byer
  Replies (25) Good night (7596) Bad night (1122)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.

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  (231): you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob. http://tfl.nu/xbl2
  Replies (25) Good night (9700) Bad night (1089)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.

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  (204): You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head. http://tfl.nu/a92s
  Replies (25) Good night (4749) Bad night (1136)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.

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  (702): And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now. http://tfl.nu/so7u
  Replies (7) Good night (879) Bad night (3378)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers

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  (940): Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/bomc
  Replies (14) Good night (4151) Bad night (946)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs

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  (860): I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs http://tfl.nu/e3vg
  Replies (14) Good night (1143) Bad night (941)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Look at your life. Look at your choices.

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  (305): Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up! (216): Look at your life. Look at your choices. http://tfl.nu/vob0
  Replies (7) Good night (1278) Bad night (731)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.

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  (989): I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/vqh6
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (392)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit

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  (312): Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit http://tfl.nu/kckq
  Replies (3) Good night (1224) Bad night (559)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.

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  (971): I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast. http://tfl.nu/uskm
  Replies (5) Good night (594) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"

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  (206): Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon" http://tfl.nu/mddc
  Replies (4) Good night (827) Bad night (270)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"

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  (414): Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie" http://tfl.nu/mcag
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (285)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just hope I don't wheeze during sex

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  (215): I just hope I don't wheeze during sex http://tfl.nu/q60s
  Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (533)

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