Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa

  (404): View more from Georgia

  sure if you go to prison

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  (813): i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa (404): sure if you go to prison http://tfl.nu/yad5
  Replies (24) Good night (989) Bad night (2888)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.

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  (612): Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery. http://tfl.nu/hvee
  Replies (12) Good night (727) Bad night (4721)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.

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  (931): she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by. http://tfl.nu/75ga
  Replies (14) Good night (5200) Bad night (1084)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He had one of those small greek statue penises

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  (813): He had one of those small greek statue penises http://tfl.nu/uvv6
  Replies (33) Good night (828) Bad night (5466)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.

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  (985): I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me. http://tfl.nu/zadb
  Replies (11) Good night (4185) Bad night (706)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  low key just jizzed in a chinese food container

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  (321): low key just jizzed in a chinese food container http://tfl.nu/tufb
  Replies (7) Good night (766) Bad night (3779)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way

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  (616): you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way http://tfl.nu/p3hb
  Replies (19) Good night (803) Bad night (6663)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.

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  (414): Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital. http://tfl.nu/5fyf
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (1302)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.

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  (405): The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore. http://tfl.nu/c65h
  Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (543)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.

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  (503): I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation. http://tfl.nu/ib5h
  Replies (0) Good night (628) Bad night (533)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo

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  (248): I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo http://tfl.nu/bfzl
  Replies (4) Good night (1024) Bad night (527)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.

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  (401): He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate. http://tfl.nu/dyap
  Replies (1) Good night (815) Bad night (418)
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  (760): View more from California

  I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.

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  (760): I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/o963
  Replies (7) Good night (942) Bad night (341)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'

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  (508): oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future' http://tfl.nu/w2au
  Replies (8) Good night (650) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.

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  (904): I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco. http://tfl.nu/2q18
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (302)

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