The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The 19 Creepiest Missing Person Cases
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
