some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
