Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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