Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.

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(201): I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people. http://tfl.nu/03zs

Replies (13) Good night (1204) Bad night (628)
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(925): View more from California

Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.

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(925): Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen. http://tfl.nu/fkde

Replies (47) Good night (5541) Bad night (1385)
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(646): View more from New York

I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"

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(646): I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive" http://tfl.nu/8zeu

Replies (19) Good night (1879) Bad night (4108)
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(845): View more from New York

Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.

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(845): Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science. http://tfl.nu/ee2g

Replies (20) Good night (7010) Bad night (686)
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(407): View more from Florida

It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.

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(407): It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it. http://tfl.nu/o8fq

Replies (27) Good night (1001) Bad night (7046)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.

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(732): He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/grbq

Replies (8) Good night (4347) Bad night (874)
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(207): View more from Maine

You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!

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(207): You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?! http://tfl.nu/i02d

Replies (15) Good night (1801) Bad night (464)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.

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(630): I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode. http://tfl.nu/h8l8

Replies (11) Good night (3032) Bad night (688)
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(928): View more from Arizona

I need a burrito and a hug.

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(928): I need a burrito and a hug. http://tfl.nu/ezdk

Replies (12) Good night (1334) Bad night (500)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.

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(304): Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd. http://tfl.nu/1o4y

Replies (19) Good night (2609) Bad night (447)
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(251): View more from Alabama

My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay

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(251): My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay http://tfl.nu/tgej

Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (303)
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(562): View more from California

Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...

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(562): Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell... http://tfl.nu/1xl3

Replies (0) Good night (295) Bad night (496)
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(512): View more from Texas

Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.

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(512): Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess. http://tfl.nu/vcjk

Replies (1) Good night (742) Bad night (288)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.

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(570): i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0. http://tfl.nu/r5hx

Replies (2) Good night (356) Bad night (642)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.

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(708): Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job. http://tfl.nu/i4v1

Replies (0) Good night (424) Bad night (259)

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