Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class

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  (707): I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class http://tfl.nu/fiu2
  Replies (12) Good night (4351) Bad night (908)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.

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  (703): I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave. http://tfl.nu/udrq
  Replies (4) Good night (2157) Bad night (848)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country

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  (210): Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country http://tfl.nu/te1e
  Replies (9) Good night (4312) Bad night (1140)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time

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  (913): Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time http://tfl.nu/0t2u
  Replies (11) Good night (1089) Bad night (561)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.

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  (843): Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend. http://tfl.nu/a6e8
  Replies (5) Good night (1317) Bad night (457)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.

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  (901): He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy. http://tfl.nu/2710
  Replies (6) Good night (1724) Bad night (634)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.

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  (708): Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea. http://tfl.nu/kw7e
  Replies (5) Good night (402) Bad night (1362)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness

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  (815): Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness http://tfl.nu/w2dw
  Replies (2) Good night (1275) Bad night (931)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.

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  (207): Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something. http://tfl.nu/ppvg
  Replies (12) Good night (1068) Bad night (589)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."

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  (307): Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator." http://tfl.nu/nuq5
  Replies (3) Good night (372) Bad night (351)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.

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  (585): He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota. http://tfl.nu/2rl1
  Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.

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  (425): I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh. http://tfl.nu/ednt
  Replies (5) Good night (429) Bad night (817)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job

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  (778): I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job http://tfl.nu/qp1e
  Replies (0) Good night (527) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo

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  (206): I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo http://tfl.nu/5god
  Replies (1) Good night (744) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any

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  (602): You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any http://tfl.nu/y6q6
  Replies (2) Good night (648) Bad night (229)

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