That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.