ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow

  Fav 2 1532 2113

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I puked a lego.

  Fav 10 2152 3020

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm glad girls dont get visible erections

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  But, it would have made life so much easier...

  Fav 27 3772 907

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.

  Fav 56 4423 838

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (269): View more from Michigan

  i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently

  Fav 17 5321 937

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with

  Fav 24 7425 2437

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

  Fav 16 3674 1708

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

  Fav 4 2715 1279

  share tweet
  

• (416): View more from Toronto

  I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Was he satisfied?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  No, and very vocal about it.

  Fav 8 2800 1051

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug

  Fav 3 782 1026

  share tweet
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams. 

  Fav 4 1283 833

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (415): View more from California

  The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!

  Fav 5 1756 840

  share tweet
  

• (313): View more from Michigan

  I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable

  Fav 2 267 492

  share tweet
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds

  Fav 1 195 284

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS

  Fav 1 16 49

  share tweet
  

Randomize