so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
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dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.