So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
handjob tips. give me some.
nutella sex= disaster
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
