Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize