a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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