We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
