Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
