PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
