be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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