Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize