I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
