You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
