Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's official drugs can't kill me
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
