Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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