he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
