did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Porn is love you can see.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize