Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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