A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize