I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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