Well douche your snatch and let's go!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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