in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
