Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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