discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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