There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
