mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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