Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
