My brain says no but my pants say off.
Say something about gay babies.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
