i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
