he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
