"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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