so that wasnt chicken after all
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
