in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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