I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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