You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
