that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
