So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
