I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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