one two three fourrrrnication!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It was like getting head from an anaconda
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
