people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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