wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
