Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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