I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
