so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
there is puke in my bra ... again
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
