i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have fence marks all over my body
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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