We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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