i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
