happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
